Published: April 08, 2008 09:55 pm         

She never grew up in her Pa Paw’s eyes

SMALL TALK

By Tracy Chesney



When she was two years old, she was in the hospital about to have her tonsils removed. She was screaming and crying. She was scared.

Concerned for her safety and wanting to protect her, her grandfather picked her up from her hospital bed and started to carry her out of the hospital. He was bound and determined not to let the doctors operate on his precious little granddaughter. He loved her so much that it broke his heart to see her cry.

As he quickly tried to march out the hospital doors with his granddaughter in his arms, her parents had to run after him and stop him and reassure him that she would be fine.

That’s when the grandfather and granddaughter formed a special bond that lasted a lifetime.

As time passed, the pair had a secret that only the two of them shared.

Whenever he saw his granddaughter, he would ask her, “When are you going to grow up?” It didn’t matter whether she was two, 10 or 18 years old, he would always ask her the same question; and she would always answer the same way. “I am grown up. See, look how big I’m getting.”

Since she stopped growing at the age of 12 (she never grew more than five feet tall) the question became more of a special joke between them.

As a toddler and young girl, monthly trips to her grandfather’s house became priceless. Her dad would be driving down the country road, and the little girl would stick her head out the window and sing, “I see Pa Paw’s house. I see Pa Paw’s house.”

After pulling up to her Pa Paw’s house one time, she ignored the parents’ repeated warnings not to touch the car’s cigarette lighter. So when she touched the lighted cigarette lighter and started to cry, her grandfather was the first to come rushing out the door to nurture and kiss her burned little thumb.

Throughout the years, she would always run up to her grandparents’ front porch, and he’d be waiting for her. He’d pick her up, twirl her around, and ask her, “When are you going to grow up?”

Then he would take her hand, walk her around the cotton farm, then take her inside and feed her fresh grown cantaloupes.

As the girl grew older, teenaged boys became more of a priority than her grandfather, and after she got married, her duties as a homemaker took over her time.

Still, though, whenever she saw her grandfather, he would ask her, “When are you going to grow up?” It didn’t matter whether she was 22, 26, or 31. Then she’d always answer him, “Pa Paw. I am grown up. See I’ve got children of my own now — your great-grandchildren.”

When she was 30 years old, her grandfather had a stroke that paralyzed his walk and his speech, and his health started to decline. He became wheelchair bound and he couldn’t feed himself. Just because he couldn’t do anything for himself, doctors, family and friends even started to think that his mind was also gone.

One day, however, he proved everybody’s theory wrong, but no one knew it but the granddaughter and her grandfather.

At a family gathering when she was 31 years old, she sat by her grandfather’s side, slowly feeding him his spaghetti dinner. As she gently wiped his mouth, it occurred to her that this was the first time she had taken care of her grandfather. It had always the other way around. He was always the one to feed her, comfort her, wipe the tears from her eyes.

Then with a twinkle in his eye, he looked into his granddaughter’s eyes and asked her, “When are you going to grow up?”

She had to look away from her grandfather for just a moment as a tear dropped down her face.

Although that was the last time I saw my grandfather alive, I knew right then that he wanted to prove to me that he was still there.

I looked at him and said, “I’m never going to grow up. I’ll always be your little granddaughter.”